Well here we go again.
A couple weeks ago I post about how I was feeling lately and I said I needed to work on my social skills, so let me catch you up.
I still walk with my head down when I walk to the grocery store. I still overthinking about the way I walk but I’ve also sung in public and in front of our friends while playing the guitar. Not to mention I went to a Daya concert and sung out loud to every song I knew.
When I wrote ” I’m Not Depressed but I’m not Chipper” I was crying myself to sleep and replaying every embarrassing and upsetting thing I had done. I was constantly asking myself, ” Am I just unlikeable? Why is it so hard for me to act natural around other people?” Needless to say walking outside of the house is very stressful for me and shouldn’t be. My dad had to get me out the house and to take the train for the day. But before we got on the train we went to the gas station and before I turned into the aisles a rude cashier made me want to breakdown, cry and crawl into a hole and it felt like I was going to.
This weekend my family took a trip to Tokyo and I decided to just step out of my comfort zone and take some photos. I’m usually the one taking photo of my family and or scenery but this time I just had to give the camera to my mom and take photo of ME.
THERE IS MORE BUT I’M SAVING THEM FOR OTHER POSTS.
“Follow your heart. But take your brain with you.” -Alfred Adler
So I try to be more personal in my posts, but I’m not as vulnerable in my writing verses me being personal, but recently I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety and I know I’m not depressed but I’m not emotionally great either.
I’ve been traveling for the last six years of my life and I have seen friends come and go. Then eventually I’m the one leaving, and it just so much to handle when it’s something put on repeat. Then trying to keep in contact with my friends overseas is becoming more and more difficult. We’re both so busy and they actually go to a high-school and I’m stuck in my house homeschooling. It just seems like everyone is passing me by in life and I’m stuck somehow. I can see them post pics on Facebook and Instagram with their friends, and they look so happy and I’m just trying to pretend that I’m not upset I can’t go to homecoming this year.
I’m such an introverted person, the sight of other teens my age scares me to the point where I’m just freaking out in my head. Luckily my cousin Neyney is always there for me and I literally always talk to her about everything.
Just to clarify, I’m not a lonely person, I’m just insecure and confused with mixed emotions. I do have friends here and I need to make more of an effort to be more interactive with them. I’ll let you know how that goes. Congratulations Almostmia, you’ve officially became my therapy.
XOXO – Almost Mia
Here is another giveaway to celebrate my one year blogiversary. Celebrate with me and enter for this Primrose Hill makeup full of goodies.
And if you are someone
who still carries hope in your heart,
kindness in your eyes
and generosity in your fingertips
despite terrible people happening to you,
You are one of few truly pure things
left in this world,
and you deserve to be protected.